Persuasive Writing 2k17

Paragraph 1:

Having a healthy lifestyle can change your life forever, healthy foods never fail us as it supports a lot of functions in our body.

According to www.healthyeating.org, It supports a lot of functions in our body such as your digestive system by making your body digest better and boosts your metabolism, circulatory system by giving strength to your bone marrow giving you more red blood cells and many other functions in your body.

Healthy foods do this as they give and consists a lot of vitamins and minerals that can help our body to function better and remove dirt, removes germs that can possibly be a disease, illness that can make us sick in the future and toxins that can harm our body.

For Me, Eating healthy foods can be a practice to have a healthy body and it can make a difference especially on your families and future generations to come.

Paragraph 2:

Eating healthy foods can give us a better body for the future you.

According to www.hhs.gov, the food you take each day can affect your health and how you will feel today, tomorrow and in the future.

Your diet can determine your future and helps you to maintain a healthy weight, reduce the risk of diseases such as chronic diseases, hypertension, diabetes and certain types of cancer.

In today’s society, unhealthy foods like fast foods, junk foods are giving us a different lifestyle, so eating healthy foods can give us a better future so teaching children how to eat healthy at a young age will help them stay healthy for the rest of their lives.

Paragraph 3:

Eating healthy foods can affect both mental and physical health, helping people be healthy in both.

According to www.webmd.com, by doing this it can help people shape their diets, they can improve their mental health and decrease the risk of psychiatric disorders and their physical health such as having a healthy and glowing skin, more resistance and endurance, and much more.

More research has been found that nutritious diet isn’t just good for your body, it can do good to your brain too. It promotes your mental health and physical health.

A nutritious diet can give you many benefits reducing the risk of mental illnesses, giving you a healthier body than before, removing toxins in your body and much more.

Conclusion

Re-state thesis:

Healthy living really can make difference in our physical, mental health

Re-state list of points:

It can support a lot of functions in our body, It can give us a better future by having a healthy body, it can affect your physical and mental health.

Creative Writing #1

                                                                      My First Draft

Title: Winning the near impossible!

Have you ever challenged yourself outside of your comfort zone and not knowing what the
outcome of it? I have. I challenged myself by playing a sport which is what I’m not familiar with and not knowing how hard and frustrating it can get. I first started when my friends encouraged me to pick a sport knowing that I don’t do any sports, I vigorously force myself to pick Volleyball and at first I thought I’m only doing it in short-term. I remember the feeling that rushed into my body when I first went inside the court and saw many people trying out, trying to get into the team, I can feel the warmth of the gym as it was one of a scorching day in the summer season and I can feel the eagerness of the people around me. I can hear the whistle and I can see the balls spring up and down. I try to link myself into this unfamiliar sport which I have come to love and my teammates and as we need to unite as a team, we started to get to know each other and know each other’s weaknesses and strengths to help each other improve and so we can work and connect with each other easily inside and outside the court.

Our coach eagerly join our team into a competition, surprising us and making us panic as this was our first competition but we still prepare ourselves and enhance our teamwork few weeks before the tournament. On the day of the tournament, we all got into the van with anxiousness and eagerness to win the tournament. As we walk into the court, we calm and set ourselves down, in hand. The game started and we all can hear our own pounding heart as the opponents had the ball first, our game started fresh and it was going good and it has exceeded the coach and our expectation not knowing what risk we are about to experience. My teammate spiked the ball into the opponent’s side and it got in and as she was about to land, she twisted and landed with her ankle gaining sprains. We needed to carry on with uncertainty and losing something of value during the game.
A wave of anxiousness and fear rose up in me like a volcano, for only a week earlier we train and enhance our team, losing something during the game makes me hysterical throughout the game. We tried our best throughout the game with the feelings we got in the worst scenario that could ever happen in court, losing and hurting a teammate. It all got into us but we decided and managed to focus on the game, and we did this for our teammate who got hurt. We luckily managed to have someone who can sub her and after all the circumstances, we got through it together. We demonstrated a team who can work as whole even though there were circumstances but we managed to won the game making us put all the fear and anxiousness aside. I knew we weren’t the perfect team ever. We did what most teammates can do during a circumstance. but either way, it sure felt good to be on a team who can unite inside and outside the court.

Written Assessment 2k17

2017 Year 10 Written Text Assessment on ‘The Outsiders’

QUESTIONS (Choose ONE)

1. Describe at least one important relationship in the written text(s). Explain how this relationship positively or negatively influenced one or more characters.

2. Describe at least one important setting in the written text(s). Explain how the setting helped you to understand at least one idea. Note: “Setting” may refer to physical places as well as social and historical contexts.

3. Describe at least one important character in the written text(s). Explain how the character changes throughout the text(s).

4. Describe an important conflict in the written text. Explain how the conflict helped you to understand an important message.

5. Describe an incident that changes the course of events in the written text(s). Explain how this change helped you to understand an important idea.

6. Describe at least one important technique used in the written text(s). Explain how the use of the technique created impact. Note: Techniques could include figures of speech, syntax, word-choice, style, symbolism, structure, or narrative point-of-view.

And don’t forget the GOLDEN rules:

G ather ideas: who? what? when? where? why? how?

O rganise them: what’s the best order?

L ink ideas or paragraphs: “Not only do we learn…, but also…  .”

D escriptive words: stunning, exquisite, brilliant, excellent

E nabling words or phrases: for example, for instance, we see this     when, as an illustration, to demonstrate

N eat and tidy: punctuation, grammar, spelling

Statement about the  written text technique/aspect	Evidence from the written text	Explanation of the meaning shown in relation to the question	Explanation of author’s purpose	Your link to the human experience (self, society, or world) (A) within ‘The Outsiders’ (B) another  novel   (C) another text
Sentence Starters:	For example, For instance, We see this when, This is demonstrated,	This shows… This makes the audience think… This makes the audience feel… This makes us understand…	S.E.Hinton did this to The purpose of this This was done to	This aspect can be compared to… This aspect can be contrasted to… This can be juxtaposed to… This reminds me of...
Examples: In Macbeth by William Shakespeare, dialogue was used to show the state of  Macbeth’s mind.	For instance, the line “Is this a dagger I see before me?” demonstrates Macbeth questioning  his reality.	This technique reveals Macbeth’s character  by showing the audience that he has started to hallucinate and that his mind is playing tricks on him, or, alternatively, that the witches are having more influence on him than he realises.	Shakespeare did this to show the consequences of Macbeth’s guilty actions. As the play progresses, Macbeth’s mind becauses more troubled and Shakespeare uses Macbeth’s  dialogue, actions, and the conversations of other to reflect this.	This dialogue  can be juxtaposed with the feast when he has a visitation of Banquo’s ghost and says “Then comes my fit again: I had else been perfect”. This highlights, to some degree, the fact that Macbeth is conscious of his hallucinations. However, a characteristic of insanity is the insane person not knowing that are in fact insane and by the end of the play, Macbeth no longer knows what is real and what is imagined around him. This highlights the fact that guilt through murder and ‘unfettered’ ambition can affect the state of people's’ minds.

Statement about the  written text technique/aspect	Evidence from the written text	Explanation of the meaning shown  in relation to the question	Explanation of author’s purpose	Your link to the human experience (self, society, or world) (A) within ‘The Outsiders’ (B) another  novel   (C) another text
Sentence Starters:	For example, For instance, We see this when, This is demonstrated,	This shows… This makes the audience think… This makes the audience feel… This makes us understand…	The author did this to The purpose of this This was done to	This aspect can be compared to… This aspect can be contrasted to… This can be juxtaposed to… This reminds me of...
In the SEXXXY template below, answer ONE of the following questions: I am answering question number: 4 Copy and paste your question here: 4 Planning Gather and Order ideas: Introduction: (Optional)
SEXXXY 1 In ‘The Outsiders, a scene happens between The Greasers member (Johnny and Ponyboy) and the Socs (Bob and his friends).	This was demonstrated by Johnny and Ponyboy hang at the park and Bob and his friends saw them, they stopped and tease them by throwing stuff and words at them, The Socs then decided to bully and drown Ponyboy in the fountain and Johnny saw this then deciding to kill Bob using his pocket knife and then Johnny regretted killing Bob by running away with Ponyboy.	This makes us understand that The Socs thinks of them as the lower rank in society and they don’t respect The Greasers, and the heated conflicts between these gangs shows that these two gangs are not close to each other and something bad might happen between these two gangs.	The Author did this to create the atmosphere in this novel and makes us understand what is happening in today’s society’s gangs.	This is a true-to-life situation where we learn that we must be calm and patient and not start fights that can cause risking your life or even affecting other’s life.
SEXXXY 2 Ponyboy ran away with Johnny at the county, they found a church and stayed there for few weeks and something bad happened while they stay there.	In the afternoon, Ponyboy and Johnny went to the market to buy something not knowing that something’s bad gonna happen at the church, They didn’t know that children and the teachers will go there and the cigarette which Ponyboy throw at the ground will cause big conflict and someone’s life will be at risk, The church was on fire when they were at the market, as they came back, they heard children and teacher’s scream, panicking and not knowing what to do, Johnny went into the church and Ponyboy did too to save the children that was stuck inside the burning church.	This makes the audience think what will happen to Johnny and Ponyboy?, Did they save the children?, this was really effective by making the scene and the quotes more realistic to put everything in place, this shows that the two Greasers members are still kind, nice and caring knowing that they’re a part of a gang.	The Author did this to change the Greasers background and the audience will empathised Ponyboy and Johnny despite killing Bob the Socs and even thinking Johnny is the Hero.	This reminds us that even the Greasers have heart and they saved the children’s lives, even though people think that Greasers is just all about fighting and rumbles, Greasers are not what they think they are.
SEXXXY 3 The three brothers have a close relationship except Ponyboy and Darry, they would always fight throughout the novel but their fights will eventually make their relationship stronger.	Ponyboy and Darry would always fight even if it’s small misunderstanding like Darry slapped Ponyboy because he got home late, Ponyboy hates Darry for that, but Ponyboy never realized that Darry loves him so much that he would even take responsibility if something bad is gonna happen to Ponyboy that’s why he is that protective of Ponyboy.	This makes the audience think that the brothers are really close despite all of the conflict that has happen throughout the novel, that they care for each other.	The Author did this to make the people who are reading the novel to think that despite they grew up being in a gang and they grew up without parents, they still have respect for each other and don’t want to lose a brother.	This reminds us that we should still love each other despite the hatred in our hearts and treat each other as a family.
SEXXXY 4 The Big Rumble between The Greasers and the Socs.	In the ‘Outsiders’, A big rumble happens at the last chapter of the novel, this rumble will decide which gang is a loser and this would settle all the conflicts between the two gangs, and The Greasers won the rumble through teamwork and by loyalty.	This makes the audience feel anxious to which gang would win and is someone gonna be hurt, and this shows that the novel is coming to an end with an anticipated ending, The Big Rumble.	The Author did this because there would always a situation where it needs to come to an end, this is really effective especially the author put it to the end of the novel.	This reminds us by achieving victory through patience, teamwork of the team, that we should work together and stay loyal to each other.

Conclusion:

(Optional)

Ideas/Purposes and Audiences I have shown commitment and resilience in my learning by adding or changing details to support my ideas.	I have expressed ideas and used statements, evidence, and explanations and attempted to answer the question with some aspects of SEXY paragraphs.	I have formed and communicated ideas by using statements, evidence, and explanations and attempted to answer the question with SEXY paragraphs. I have shown commitment and resilience to my learning by adding or changing details to support my ideas.	I show increasingly comprehensive ideas by using statements, evidence, and explanations correctly to answer the question in  1-2 SEXY paragraphs. I have developed my  ideas by adding details or making links to the text, other texts, society, or the world.	I show comprehensive ideas by using statements, evidence, and explanations correctly to answer the question in 3 or more SEXY paragraphs. I have worked towards creating a coherent, planned whole essay by adding details to ideas or making links to the text, other texts, society, or the world.
Ideas/Purposes And Audiences Grade:	L M H	L M H	L M H	L M H

Structure	I have achieved sequences my ideas with SEXY paragraphs. I may have linked my paragraphs, and have an intro, body, and conclusion.	I have achieved some coherence through sequencing my ideas with SEXY paragraphs. I may have linked my paragraphs, and have an intro, body, and conclusion.	I have achieved a sense of coherence through developing my ideas with SEXY paragraphs. I probably have linked my paragraphs, and have an intro, body, and conclusion.	I have achieved a sense of coherence through developing my ideas with SEXY paragraphs. I probably have linked my paragraphs, and an intro, body, and conclusion.
Structure Grade:	L M H	L M H	L M H	L M H

Language Features (Persuasive, filmic, or written, depending upon the essay.) I have used Google add-ons, extensions, and apps to proofread and edit my work	I have used descriptive words and language features to engage interest and communicate meaning. I have used grammatical and spelling conventions, appropriately and with increasing accuracy.	I have used a range of descriptive words and language features to create meaning and effect and to sustain interest. I have used grammatical and spelling conventions, appropriately and with only a few intrusive errors.	I have used a wide range of descriptive words and language features with control to create meaning and effect and to sustain interest. I have used an increasing range of words and  grammatical and spelling conventions  appropriately, effectively, and with accuracy.	I have used a wide range of descriptive words and language features with control to create meaning and effect and to sustain interest. I have used grammatical and spelling conventions  appropriately, effectively, and with accuracy.
Language Features Grade:	L M H	L M H	L M H	L M H

Progressions: Overall Grade:

Level 3 Indicators L M H

Level 4 Indicators L M H

Level 5 Indicators L M H

Level 6 Indicators L M H